Ouch

One of the main events that spurred me into turning the blog in my head into a blog on the web was the end of a 3 year relationship with the boy just a couple of weeks ago.

He hit me with a "we need to talk..." and I knew exactly what was coming.

I had to wait almost 2 hours for him to catch the train to my hometown...

and then, after less than 30 mintues filled with tears: mine and his, 3 years of my life with this person had come to an end.

And I pretty much felt like this:


I still get unexpected moments of sudden, physical pain at the memory.

I have days where the thoughts of us, past present and future, are replayed and imagined over and over and OVER in a persistant loop in my head.

He is an unwelcome intruder in my dreams most nights.

And yet... I'm ok. Inbetween the inevitable moments of pain and longing, I feel lighter, relieved, free. The relationship was broken ever since he cheated on me 2 summers ago.

He broke my heart and I have never, ever, felt pain like it in my life.

But aside from that, I felt so emotionally and romantically starved throughout the majority of the relationship that it's been surprisingly easy to let it go.

The next hurdle is seeing him for the first time after the breakup. The worst part of it all? We have ALL THE SAME FRIENDS FROM UNI.

gah.
But I think we really will make much better friends than we ever did boyfriend and girlfriend...

Wish me luck....